The Pain of Parenting

Being a parent is something that really amazes me everyday. My daughter is growing [thank heavens!] and each day brings a new set of new questions and interesting situations to deal with.

A friend of mine recently had the awful experience of facing the fact that her grandson has a malignant life threatening brain tumor. He is 7, the same age as my daughter. A religious friend of mine made the comment that ‘we all have a path’. As an adult I understand that philosophy but as a parent I don’t. It may just be that I do not have as much faith? The pain of watching my child in pain and being helpless is something I am not sure I could bear as a human being.

Having to face the hard choices when you have a sick child and knowing that either choice involves suffering or even the potential of death. How does a parent explain that to a child, someone you are supposed to protect?

A child’s sickness or death is something no parent should ever have to endure, yet every day 100’s of children and parents live through that suffering and pain.
As someone sitting on the outside watching the drama and pain unfold, I am reminded of the value of my life and that of my daughter and family. I cannot help feeling guilty that I have options and other families are so focused on living that few options exist other than surviving as people and a family unit.

This post is a tribute to those that have had to endure this kind of suffering, I do not profess to understand what you are feeling, but I can vaguely feel your pain as a parent when I look at my daughters laughing face.

May this be a reminder to those of us that are more fortunate to never take life and people for granted. Live life, Love lots.

Living in the NEW NEW SA

I admit I have been scarce...lackluster is the word I would use to describe my mood. I am ashamed to say that I have been caught up in the constant bad news that seems to have become South Africa [over the past few months] - it seems to be everywhere you turn.
I am not going to reiterate what you all already know, but have finally realized that my mood was not going to help things. So I am back, albeit in pause mode for a while, waiting to see if any leadership emerges for the institution we call government.

Revolutions can be started by a handful of people [we have a history of that in this country] but there is something in the South African psyche [not only white South Africans] that tends to jump instantly to running away [to another country]. This at a time when we all need to stay and make a difference – the crime is a large factor in those decisions and I understand that fear [especially as a mother]. With the latest highlight of infrastructure decay a few just do not see hope, but rather decline.

A new thing has entered my mind this year with the emergence of Zuma and his 100% Zulu boy T-Shirt. [Something like that from a ‘leader’ encourages polarization not tolerance]. The question for me arose…where does this leave the white South African voice? An example of this is a sudden defensiveness I have picked up with any comments lodged by whites regarding Governmental inefficiencies. Are we racist, and the same comments made by a black person are realist? I am a little over that view. The government is simply not delivering and they need to bring the country back on track in a hurry, to deliver on the very basic fundamentals of our constitution.

I had begun to allow myself [my own fault] to think that as a white South African I had begun to lose my voice… [shock horror I know]. Then, I remembered choice and democracy and *‘that South Africa belongs to all who live in it, united in our Diversity’.. I am African. I do not have or want a ‘get out of jail free card’ [in the form of a foreign passport]. This is my country, and I am white. We as a people talk of integration and tolerance and in the end we are all in this together. We ALL need to do what we can to fix the country and avoid the issues that face Kenya. The fundamental starting point however is to be heard as a united voice as the people of this country, all singing the same tune.
God forbid that I ever have to leave the land of my birth. I dread the day that I would have to consider that [which I would do if the risk for my family got to great].

So a prediction…this year and possibly the next 5 to follow will be a watershed for SA. People will come and go and we are in for a bumpy road, but we must do our best to work together and *‘Heal the divisions of the past and establish a society based on democratic values, social justice and fundamental human rights; Lay the foundations for a democratic and open society in which government is based on the will of the people and every citizen is equally protected by law; Improve the quality of life of all citizens and free the potential of each person; and build a united and democratic South Africa’.

PEACE to the PEOPLE!

*Quoted from the South African Constitution

Track Santa..WHAT FUN!

This is very cool for those of you that have kids [and for some of those that dont!].... All you do is download Google Earth in fact you can download it from the actual site...Track Santa on the 24th December on Santa Tracking.